Dealing with canine separation anxiety is truly challenging, and I won’t sugarcoat it. My dog Carter struggled with a severe case, and it was heartbreaking to witness. He would panic every time I left the house, and that distress persisted long after I was gone. I felt utterly powerless.
I devoured every book and article I could find, and while there were occasional small improvements, his anxiety only seemed to worsen. Unable to manage the situation alone, I decided to seek professional help.
With the guidance of a skilled trainer, I finally began to get his anxiety under control. The key insight for me was realizing that management had to be broken down into small, manageable steps and that progress would take time. Here’s what I learned and how I successfully managed my dog’s separation anxiety, including five practical tips.
The Symptoms of Separation Anxiety in Dogs
Does your dog become anxious and panicky when you leave? Do they bark, whine, or howl whenever you’re out of sight? Do they try to follow you out the door as you’re leaving? If so, they may be showing signs of separation anxiety.
It’s important to note that not all problematic behaviors stem from separation anxiety. For example, coming home to find your shoes chewed might be due to boredom and a lack of better ways to entertain themselves. Behaviors caused by separation anxiety typically occur when you’re leaving, during your absence, and sometimes even as you’re preparing to leave.
Common symptoms of separation anxiety in dogs include: barking, whining, howling; trying to follow you or sneak out the door; destructive behaviors like chewing or digging; defecating or urinating indoors; excessive drooling; excessive panting; hyperactivity or aggression when you’re leaving; hiding when you leave; and refusing to eat.
It’s not fully understood why some dogs suffer from separation anxiety while others don’t. But remember, your dog’s behaviors are part of a panic response. Your dog isn’t trying to punish you! They just want you to come home!
Why Separation Anxiety Needs To Be Managed
Separation anxiety in dogs is a fear-based behavior, similar to other anxiety issues. If you or someone you know has experienced anxiety, you understand how exhausting and serious it can be—especially when left untreated.
Dogs with separation anxiety panic when their owner leaves, and this panic can last for hours. Over time, this anxiety can have significant negative impacts on a dog’s overall well-being.
Unfortunately, dogs can’t communicate exactly why they’re anxious, so they’ll continue to panic until the issue is addressed. For most dogs, separation anxiety is progressive, meaning it will get worse over time if not managed. Intervening early can prevent the behavior from becoming severe.
Assess The Severity Of Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety
Before exploring treatment options, it’s crucial to assess the severity of your dog’s separation anxiety. Does your dog show extreme panic when you’re gone, such as trying to escape or howling for hours? If so, they have a severe case, which can be difficult to manage on your own.
Because severe cases are so challenging to treat, I recommend consulting a professional behaviorist or trainer. Separation anxiety can cause prolonged periods of extreme panic, and in severe situations, professional guidance is often necessary to make it manageable.
On the other hand, if your dog tries to sneak out the door as you leave or whines for a few minutes before settling down, that’s considered moderate separation anxiety. While it’s not easy to manage, it is doable with consistent effort. However, if your dog’s anxiety seems to be getting worse over time, seek help promptly—these issues will escalate without proper intervention.
5 Tips For Managing Canine Separation Anxiety
First, the hard truth: separation anxiety won’t improve on its own. Without management, it will only get worse. Dogs with long-standing separation anxiety need counter conditioning to overcome the negative associations they’ve developed with being alone. It’s important to understand that managing separation anxiety requires a lot of time and commitment; there’s no overnight cure.
I mention this because when I was dealing with my own dog’s separation anxiety, the articles I read never emphasized how difficult the process could be. When I didn’t see immediate results, I thought I was failing. But treating anxiety isn’t simple, and progress takes time.
These tips will work, but they require dedication. It involves step-by-step repetition, which can be tedious, but with patience, you will see improvements. The good news is that you can help your dog with proper management. My dog Carter had a severe case, and these tips, combined with patience and understanding, made his anxiety manageable. Here are five steps to help manage your dog’s separation anxiety.
1. Keep Your Dog Calm As You Practice Getting Ready
The first step in managing canine separation anxiety is learning to keep your dog calm while you go through your pre-leaving routine. The best way to start is by practicing this routine and gradually helping your dog become accustomed to it without getting anxious.
Dogs are highly attuned to our routines. For many, the actions of getting ready for work—like taking a shower, getting dressed, doing your hair or makeup, putting on shoes, or grabbing keys and a purse—trigger anxiety before you even step out the door. To manage this, your goal is to turn these routine actions into positive or neutral experiences for your dog through counter conditioning and desensitization.
Choose a time when you have extra time to work with your dog. Start by practicing one part of your routine that causes the least anxiety. For example, putting on shoes might be a high-anxiety trigger since it’s often one of the last things you do before leaving, so start with a less stressful part of your routine.
Once you’ve selected a routine part, focus on keeping your dog calm while practicing it. Counter conditioning and desensitization aim to change your dog’s emotional response to a trigger. While it’s easier said than done, with repetition, you can alter how your dog reacts to these situations.
How to Keep Your Dog Calm As You Get Ready
Let’s say you start with brushing your teeth, an activity that causes mild anxiety for your dog. To make this a positive experience, use food rewards. As you prepare to brush your teeth, toss your dog a treat, then another as you pick up the toothpaste. Observe their reaction—if they still seem nervous, take a step back and just practice picking up the toothbrush without proceeding further.
Rewarding your dog for watching you brush your teeth might seem odd, but it’s part of the process. Giving them something positive to focus on during a normally anxiety-inducing activity gradually changes their attitude. Instead of thinking, “Oh no, they’re brushing their teeth, which means they’re leaving,” your dog will start associating teeth-brushing with getting a treat, shifting their focus from negative to positive.
Every dog is different, and the severity of their anxiety will determine the pace of desensitization. If your dog becomes nervous during practice, their anxiety can build, making it harder to manage by the time you actually leave. Breaking the routine into smaller steps prevents this buildup. Over time, your dog will learn to handle the parts of your routine that once made them anxious.
For many dogs with separation anxiety, the act of their owners getting ready for work causes stress and anxiety. You can help keep your dog calm by giving them treats as you practice getting ready.
2. Leave For Short Periods of Time
Once your dog remains calm during your getting-ready activities, you can move on to approaching the door and actually leaving. Again, the goal is to take baby steps—first, get your dog comfortable with you walking toward the door, then walking through it.
Depending on the severity of your dog’s anxiety, this might take days, weeks, or even months of practice. It’s tedious, but this process helps change your dog’s associations with your leaving. By leaving for short periods at various times, your dog learns that you don’t only leave for 8+ hours for work. They start to realize that leaving isn’t a big deal because you always come back.
How to Keep Your Dog Calm As You’re Leaving
Start by leaving for just a few minutes at a time. A helpful method is to give your dog something to focus on as you leave, like a stuffed Kong or a tasty treat. The goal is to avoid triggering fear or anxiety as you walk toward the door and exit.
If your dog becomes anxious even when you’re near the door, take a step back and practice moving toward the door without causing distress before attempting to leave. The purpose of short departures is to normalize the behavior and desensitize your dog to your absence. Take your time—rushing can cause anxiety and set back progress.
With practice, your dog will stay calm as you walk to the door and leave. As mentioned, this may take days or weeks, depending on the severity of their anxiety.
3. Give Your Dog Something To Do When You Leave
A stuffed Kong can be incredibly helpful for managing mild cases of canine separation anxiety. If your dog starts to get anxious as you get ready for work, give them a Kong stuffed with frozen treats. I prefer Kongs because they’re durable (for my dog, at least) and dishwasher safe.
Stuffed Kongs work well because they give your dog a distraction, shifting their focus away from your departure. They’re mentally stimulating, and the challenge of working for food keeps their attention occupied. My current dog Laika began showing signs of anxiety when I left for work a few years ago. Using the stuffed Kong method worked wonders—after a couple of days, she stopped following me around and instead waited by the freezer for her Kong.
For Kong stuffing, I use a base of peanut butter or low-sodium broth mixed with veggies or homemade dog treats. To freeze, fill the Kong, place it small-side down in a cup or bowl, and freeze overnight. Freezing makes it last longer, but it’s not necessary. There are many healthy options for stuffing, but the key is to find something your dog loves.
For severe separation anxiety, a stuffed Kong may not be enough to hold their attention. In such cases, consulting a professional trainer is recommended.
4. Teach Your Dog Independent Behaviors
Dogs with separation anxiety often develop hyper attachment to their owners. Some breeds are more prone to dependency, and sometimes we unintentionally encourage clingy behaviors. While we may never know exactly why some dogs develop this, there are ways to encourage independence.
One effective strategy is to teach your dog to engage in activities on their own or at a distance from you. If your dog gets nervous when you’re out of sight, start by encouraging independent behaviors in a positive way. This helps them learn that they can be content and comfortable without being right by your side.
Independent Behaviors To Encourage In Your Dog
Teaching your dog to do things independently or at a distance boosts their confidence when separated from you. Try these activities:
Play games that involve distance, such as nose work, hide and seek, or fetch. These games reinforce that fun can happen even when you’re not right next to them. Over time, your dog will learn that being apart isn’t a negative experience.
Create a special space for your dog, like a bed, mat, or crate. Make this area positive by rewarding them when they go there and giving them special toys or treats. This encourages them to view their space as a safe and enjoyable place.
Desensitize your dog to your movements. Dogs with separation anxiety often react to every little move you make, assuming you’re leaving. Practice getting up and doing something trivial, repeating until your dog no longer reacts. Eventually, they’ll learn that not all movements mean you’re leaving.
Use puzzle or food toys for meals. This gives your dog a productive activity that doesn’t require your presence. Long-lasting chew toys or stuffed Kongs are great for keeping them occupied while you’re busy around the house.
One way to help manage your dog’s separation anxiety is by encouraging independent behaviors. Give your dog something fun to do on their own such as a long lasting chew toy, puzzle toy or stuffed Kong.
5. Keep Your Dog Physically & Mentally Exercised
Providing plenty of physical and mental exercise can reduce many problem behaviors, including separation anxiety. While it may not cure anxiety alone, it significantly helps. Many of us leave for work without giving our dogs a chance to burn off energy, which is especially tough for young, active dogs.
Before leaving in the morning, take your dog for a quick walk or jog, or play a short game of tug or fetch. It doesn’t have to be long—even 5-10 minutes can make a difference. Some quick ways to tire out your dog include using a flirt pole, playing frisbee, or a game of tug of war.
Mental stimulation is also crucial. Activities that challenge their problem-solving skills keep them entertained and help burn energy, which is beneficial for anxious dogs. Try food puzzles, treat-finding games, teaching new tricks, or using stuffed Kongs to provide mental exercise.
Once Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety Seems Better
After your dog’s separation anxiety is manageable, it’s important to monitor their behavior to prevent regression. While full panic mode is unlikely to return, anxious behaviors can slowly reappear if you stop practicing calm routines. Occasional practice—even a couple of times a month—can help maintain progress.
If Your Dog Has Severe Separation Anxiety
Severe separation anxiety is difficult to manage alone. These tips work for mild to moderate cases, but severe cases require help from a professional trainer or behaviorist. Panic is exhausting for dogs, so seeking help is crucial if you can’t control their anxiety on your own.
Rehabilitating a dog with severe separation anxiety may require months of incremental desensitization steps to help them overcome their fear of being left alone.
Resources For Managing Canine Separation Anxiety
Helpful resources include books like “Don’t Leave Me! A Step by Step Help For Separation Anxiety” by Nicole Wilde, and information from organizations such as the ASPCA, MSPCA, and training experts like Karen Pryor.
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